I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
