Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I am naked and annoyed.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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