Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
there is glitter all over my balls
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
