apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
