Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
