3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
