did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
