just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
