Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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