Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
