she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
