I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
