She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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