at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
