I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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