Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
