if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
