He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
