Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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