I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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