Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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