do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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