Texts From Last Night · Heinke's Favorites

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Heinke's Favorites Texts:

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(615): View more from Tennessee

SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??

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(973): View more from New Jersey

if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please

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(952): View more from Minnesota

MIDGETS

(847): View more from Illinois

????

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(313): View more from Michigan

YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.

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(941): View more from Florida

Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.

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(310): View more from California

Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer

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