Texts From Last Night · Zero111's Favorites

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Zero111's Favorites Texts:

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(540): View more from Virginia

The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth

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(309): View more from Illinois

You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?

(847): View more from Illinois

Beat you to it.

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(352): View more from Florida

Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!

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(720): View more from Colorado

New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?

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