Texts From Last Night · bretmb54's Favorites

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bretmb54's Favorites Texts:

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(408): View more from California

It's chlamydia! Thank God!

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(941): View more from Florida

CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.

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(619): View more from California

Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore

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(620): View more from Kansas

I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs

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(917): View more from New York City

If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you

(917): View more from New York City

Those had pot in them

(917): View more from New York City

And good luck on your interview asshole

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(304): View more from West Virginia

He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.

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