Texts From Last Night · unravelingx's Favorites

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unravelingx's Favorites Texts:

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(708): View more from Illinois

He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.

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(530): View more from California

she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.

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(406): View more from Montana

That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.

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(518): View more from New York

bad decision saturdays are such a good decision

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.

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(571): View more from Virginia

Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.

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