Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
