last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
