Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
