Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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