I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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