I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
