I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
