brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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