yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
