she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Randomize
