Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
