You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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