if you like me you must not know who I am
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
