Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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