didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
