things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
