Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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