Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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