It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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