My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
