Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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