i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
