This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
