i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
